witnessing life rather than explaining it | weekly notes (april 20 - april 24, 2026)

monday

I am feeling really tired this morning. I mean, it makes sense, we had a really busy weekend. I'm starting off the day with some planning for cleaning tasks and to do's I want to accomplish this week. We have a new piece of furniture in our living room that will probably serve as a linens cabinet, and maybe hold some of my tea pot collection, so I'm excited to get that organized. 

Now it's 7 pm and I can't believe the day is over. Today was a planning heavy day but I still got some stuff done (mostly creative tasks). A few days ago I had decided to give a second YouTube channel a try. I had posted my first video which was a 45 minute video of me talking about why I quit social media and tied in the content creator side of it all and a little bit of a backstory on my creative journey. I also had 2 other videos filmed, one of which I filmed this morning, and I decided to scratch the entire channel. I feel like I had some great ideas, even episodic, series based ideas that were niche and could bring unique value, but it does not feel like what I'm meant to be doing. Just because you have the tools and time to do something, does not mean it is the right path to take. I almost felt like pursuing that second channel was something I should do, but I would much rather use those ideas as blog posts or on my silent vlog channel as those are the spaces I feel my creative energy flows the best in. 

I feel like this is a lesson I continue to face - trying to fit my creative self in certain boxes or feeling like I should use every ounce of free time in every creative possible way for growth. But that mindset just leaves me drained. I think its a reoccuring issue because I've been trying to move away from toxic productivity or even give myself more space in my creative endeavors, whereas before I was in constant create mode. This slow living thing hasn't been a linear journey. But I know through each experience like this that has some kind of tension, I'm learning something new about myself.

tuesday

It's only 9 am and I feel like a whole day has already passed. I don't know if that's due to being tired or maybe the exhaustion I feel at this stage of my menstrual cycle, but I kind of feel like I'm in a funk. I think its related to the situation of feeling like I was pursuing this new idea (a second youtube channel) and then deciding to scratch it. Sometimes I feel like I should always be pursuing new ideas because of the stagnancy of current ones that may occur. But that stagnancy, space, pause, stillness, or quiet that may occur in those creative experiences is vital for the creative process, and if I'm constantly trying to fill that with something new, that creative project (that may currently feel stagnant) will never thrive. So today I'm going to challenge myself not to create anything new, but rather work on the projects I'm already feeling alignment with and maybe even do some crafting because its been awhile. 

I've been working on my savoringmonday Pinterest all day long. I currently have 300 photos to be posted that are some of my fav artsy photos ive taken and a few candid ones that capture moments I find beautiful. I plan on using Pinterest to scratch that itch to curate a feed and to have a place where I can post batch photos. 

wednesday

I was going to try to go on a walk this morning but it is super windy. So instead, I've been editing and uploading some podcast episodes to try to get on a better schedule with it. I have a lot of cleaning tasks that feel daunting and I think I'm just going to give myself a two hour window this morning to try to knock out as much as I can. I have a few errands I need to run this week: walmart, whole foods and possibly marshalls or the mall as Im still looking for a cute shirt or dress for my birthday. So it feels like I have a lot on my mind and I just want to start getting things done.

I successfully cleaned all of the bathrooms before 8:15 am because I just wanted to get it over with. It was actually nice getting it out of the way first thing in the morning. I might start to do that with my cleaning tasks moving forward so they don't feel like something I'm dreading all day. 

I ended up injuring my foot so the second half of my day wasn't anything I expected it to be. But it is Earth Day so we did some fun nature crafts.

thursday

My foot is still sore but I've got stuff to do. I still have a list of tasks I want to do around the house and errands to run. We're planning on focusing on Walmart tonight and possibly Whole Foods tomorrow. 

I have been thinking about a second YouTube channel again. I know I'm not the only creative with this dilemma. It's like once you stop putting the focus on one form of creating you may start to miss it, only to try it again and realize it doesn't work. There's this casual means of creating that I've been craving since leaving short form social media and I can't seem to scratch the itch. I would say my blog is the most casual place in my creative ecosystem right now. My podcast and my main YouTube channel are mostly curated to noticing moments I find beautiful, witnessing them and then sharing them in a more curated way. Same with my Pinterest, even that is mostly curated. But any time I try to film a long vlog of casual moments in my life in a way that I'm speaking to the camera, it just doesn't work for me. I've explained this before but I think it's because I'm explaining my life rather than just sharing the experience of it. But it also has to do with the having to watch myself back and edit it. There's just a disconnect there in my creative brain and that method of sharing doesn't work for me anymore. 

I think I need to have more grace with myself as it's only been (not even) 3 months since stepping away from short form social media when I've been creating for it for 15 years. Of course theres going to be tension, some unlearning and figuring out what this means to me as a creator. I think it also has to do with this push and pull of what I find valuable, what my priorities are and what is meaningful to me. And that has all been a byproduct of me rekindling my relationship with Jesus and also prioritizing a slower, more intentional life. And although I find whimsy and joy in the little things like putting a cute outfit together, I sometimes feel like it is pointless for me to document that because I'm trying to recognize a bigger meaning. Sometimes it all seems so silly and other times I feel like, no, this is the point. To feel playful, to have fun, to express yourself and to find gratitude and joy in little things like an outfit. It's a weird dynamic because I'm constantly feeling both. I think it's just the ebb and flow of being a human.

friday

Of course right when my foot starts to feel better, I hurt my back vacuuming. Is this is what it means to turn 30? I spent most of the day resting because of it. This morning I ran to Sprouts for some yummy snacks. In the afternoon we went to taco bell for an early dinner. I get their crispy cantina chicken tacos with avocado ranch. For someone who is just avoiding gluten for autoimmune reasons, they work for me. Then we went to Walmart to do 1/2 of our big grocery shop. The rest we will be getting at Whole Foods. But we also got some fun things! I've been needing some more birds seeds and my bird feeder recently broke, so we got this new, larger, gazebo looking bird feeder. It is so cute. It reminds me of Gilmore Girls. I cant wait to set it up this weekend. I also picked up the Elf Halo Glow Highlighter which I've never tried and a Wet N Wild Chameleon eyeshadow that has a white and pink shift. I'm hoping it applies sheer because I've been looking for something I can wear every day that just adds a fun sheen. I even got some acrylic nails to wear for my birthday which I'm kind of nervous about because I don't remember the last time I had long nails like that, but I'm excited because they are a fun way to accessorize. I also picked up some crafts for my daughter and I. We got some butterfly sun catchers, air dry clay, wooden dinosaurs to paint and felt. I've seen a few play pretend felt items on Pinterest like a mail bag with envelopes and a bandaid kit that I want to try to make.